The Doomed Scottish Empire and Football

Natural Checks and Balances
Image: Google Maps
Words: GingerZilla

The one problem being a mongrel of the British Archipelagos is our divided loyalties, caused by the many threads of our DNA being mingled down the years. 

Someone's mother was always a Hoor and it's always the bloody Neighbours. It's a fortunate side effect of alcohol, without which the Northern Tribes may have ceased to exist. The Sacred Lubricant of Life (always drink senselessly). The closer we are, the more we hate each other until we look in the mirror and realise we're all bleary eyed and hung over. 

Salute to a Northern Tribe #1 Come on you 'Muirs

It is not Currently Safe to Walk through the Midlands.
Tribes are advised to continue using Northern Sea Routes until the Sun God returns.
No Volcano Gods Currently Activity
Image: Copyright Google Maps

The seas are still warm despite the wet dull summer. The Volcano Gods have been kind to us lately but they are growing restless. It's not safe to take planes. Trains are out of the question because they are the toy of the rich. That normally leaves walking but Google have advised this as the Midlands are too dangerous at this time of year, so journeys north must be taken by sea. Obviously I am on to something with my conspiracy theories about the encroaching Northern Darkness. I know this because I asked Google how to walk from London to Scotland and it gave me the directions above. It must be true! 

Anyway, somewhere in that cold place, heartland of Northern Socialism, lies Scottish League Division Two Warriors, Stenhousemuir. They won nothing for 111 years and they hate Stranraer. They have  Norwegian Friends, a place even further North.

Then there is the annual Stenhousemuir Old Boys match - a dead cert for home win except this year when the Stand Up Comedians, made up from the Edinburgh Fringe, caused a massive  upset with a 2-1 win.

The Warriors last league home game was attended by a whopping 621 people and for that loyalty, We Salute You. 

I love the subtitles on this video of their Promotion Win two years ago even if it is in a language unknown to Google: