Thatcher the One Minute Rage

Football Club owners are not 'one of us' and live in a different world a world where Thatcher did not weild a strap on but yeilded herself for the greater greed.

Sir Alex Ferguson, when once told by a journalist that he and Thatcher shared an ability to survive on only five hours’ sleep, replied: “Don’t associate me with that woman.”       A minute's silence? Margaret Thatcher was not one of us when it came to sport

Everyone Laugh at Chelski

Happy New Year Smiffy.

Myles Cooper.  (@myles2407) tweeted at 3:53 PM on Wed, Jan 02, 2013:
@StupidFootball Chelsea offered Newcastle Utd £7,000,000 + Torres for Demba Ba. Newcastle declined - they just wanted the £7,000,000.
(https://twitter.com/myles2407/status/286500437841022976)

What is the point of Gareth Barry?

Half-time emails

"There has been loads and loads oftwo emails asking what's the point of Gareth Barry. No sure I can answer that one for you folks but if anyone thinks they can, be sure to get in touch."

Arranging shagging sessions for John Terry?

Asylum Seeking Players?

That strange moment when you see Joey Barton trending + you wonder if he's broken into the Ecuadorian Embassy to rescue Assange
— Will Black (@WillBlackWriter) August 16, 2012

BREAKING: John Terry seen heading toward Ecuadorian embassy with fishing rod and some chicken. (is this right?)
— Sam MacGregor (@samjustsamyeah) August 19, 2012

Statistically Mark Hughes is a Bellend**

No bias was used in the making of this table

Football Break

So since there's is nothing in the scheduling, here some trailers

Football Predictions*

I taunted Dirk, the footballer named after a porn star, and he responded. I asked serious questions about his character and he responded in the only way he knew how by scoring when it mattered most - against the Mancs.

In 2012 the manky ones with dubious financial credentials - in one way or another - have been sacrificed from Europe and their cups will not overflow.

I also got my commentary on #TransferDeadlineDay spot on as these tweets show:

*this week I have decided not to talk about Fulham away results. However, to any Fulham fan feeling aggrieved at loosing to the toffee's, it did not take a genius to work out that we have still to break the blue Curse up north. It's part of why Smiffy and I boo John Terry when given any opportunity. That is a blue curse - even if it was a different city. Anyway all away grounds look the same to me - depressing. 

Confusion in SW6 on #TransferDeadlineDay

Smoke on the Water. Fire in the Sky.
How Bob's agent could sell this story. 

In protest or preparation for the great treason a fire is burning in West London. This man made fire is spewing noxious chemicals into the West London air clouding minds to the great evil happening. Whilst to some it may seem just a normal transfer, considering the press rumblings, far more is at stake and we cannot rule out or in any connection or speculation at this stage as it is #TransferDeadlineDay. 

Liverpool 'It's Like Having a New Signing'

Don't blame me, blame Bethany. 

Well done Liverpool on making it to Wembley again and far more importantly pissing off the Italian whingebag who has made Carlos Tevez life hell.  

I may be a Fulham fan and I rather enjoy beating you but I'll admit I've always had a soft spot for the reds (even when you kicked our arses 10-0) but that changed the day we were in the Premiership. I can still remember the Milk Cup replays in the 80's.

If there are any Liverpool fans out there who would like to write about Liverpool or football in general with a liberal dose of comedy contact us or send me a direct message on Twitter. 

United take Team Bonding too Far

I could argue that my reverse psychology worked and this was why Arsenal lost, although I'd be wrong. There is a great sense of togetherness at Manchester United who were clearly giving ahead by the 82minute as this picture shows:

Such is the togetherness at United that Aaron Ramsey had to join in.
Note not one other Arsenal player was involved*

Heads up to Kevin_Doyle29 for this comedy gem of a pic.

*Although I could speculate a lack of team bonding is why Arsenal have underperformed of late, we all know since Fulham's Ginger Nut knocked the stuffing out of them they haven't been the same.